General thought that woke me from dead sleep

Today I was getting up to use the restroom as any diabetic would know is dire. I got into my bed and started googling random things. How to make my business more successful. I have not got the audience I thought I would have as you can see from my last entry I havent been on in a year. When I moved to Corpus I thought everything would be gravy and fine. Thought I would have the best times of my life here. Little did I know the worsening of my impending depression started. I fell off radar for a long time.

Generally I was just creating to make myself feel good, I still do with others in mind now. Or I wasnt creating at all. For those of you who know how depression works, not making art made me even more depressed than I already was. Last year I lost my mother tragically. It's the kind of pain you sears into your very existence. I was never that close to her, but it hurt none the less. So what's an artist to do?

I bought myself a pair of shorts and a tank top and started working out. Working out  hard, everyday. I started feeling good, then I stopped. I would start up again. I didn't work out hard enough and long enough to see the results I wanted to see.  Now  dont get me wrong compared to 2013-14 I am way more fit. Exercising gave me something to do, a way to take care of myself.

As the months rolled by little by little I started making more art. I had just got done watching TeenWolf and I was making a lot of fanart for that show. I had bought my first acrylic paints. I also learned last year that acrylic paints do not blend very well. They are cheap and fun, but not what I was looking for. I wanted to teach myself how to paint. I spent hours looking at tutorials on pinterest, facebook, youtube, google. If anyone is interested, I keep all my art good or bad on FaceBook. You can actually see my progress. Right now I would never consider myself a master, but Ive gotten pretty decent.

Portraits have always been my favorite thing to draw, I love to people watch, love how their bodies work. Never been much of a doodler, so that is something I am currently working on, just lines, swirls, flowers for no apparent reason, put onto paper. I often find myself wondering what would make my fans happy. To this day I'm still unsure. I figure throwing in a little fanart, a little abstract, some oil paintings, some watercolor paintings.

But to the point: I just want to let the world know I am learning, and trying. I will be making more efforts in my endeavor to be known. To make a difference. Make my mark even if its just in one city. At least someone will know I was here.