Monday, April 24, 2017

Autism Spectrum

Hey, haven't been on here in years. It's bad, I forget about this website then come back and regret ever leaving. But today I am here to tell you something. I might be autistic. The funny way I came to this conclusion was because of a daredevil fanfiction I was reading where Matt is on the spectrum. As I read on the more curious I got. The author was very well researched and probably has some personal experiences. I was amazed how many characteristics of autism I had, and how many I've had for as long as I could remember.

My main stim is toe walking and rocking. Stims I stopped doing because I noticed people looking at me weird was hitting myself
I compiled a list of things I think would get me a positive diagnosis.

  • Walking on my toes because I hated how the floor felt on the soles of my feet
  • needing my fiance to force me to try new foods
  • the bathroom and stove fan driving me up a wall, same with lawn mowers. I think its that low humm i hate. its a really uncomfortable sound that i need to stop immediately otherwise i get pissy
  • I have always had a hard time making and keeping friends
  • I have a hard time articulating my thoughts and feelings verbally without sounding like an idiot
  • I need plans, i love them. I just suck at making them.
  • I hate to travel....i also hate driving but idk if thats related
  • Replaying the same verse of a song over and over and over for hours
  • strong smells put me off
  • I can hear the smallest sounds in my apartment, but often can't seem to hear when my fiance is talking right next to me. I remember as a kid getting my hearing tested often to find out my hearing was fine
  • Was extremely dyslexic and had speech problems as a child
  • I suffer with social anxiety and depression and regular ol' anxiety :/
  • social activities make me anxious, loud places are over stimulating. I get snappy when out for too long
  • social makes me feel drained
  • the fabrics used to make sweaters drive me crazy. I cannot wear them no matter how "soft and comfortable" someone tells me they are
  •  I get over heated easily or cold easily
  • chewing on my hair is nice
  • standing and rocking from side to side
  • at work i rock in place, kick my legs out while holding the counter. constantly popping my knuckles. my box cutter can slide up and down and it clicks so i do that.
  •  generally less stressed at home
  • being completely obsessed with a subject. I rarely keep the same interest but sometimes i go back to the same ones and research and learn the hell out of it all over again.


There are stims I did as a kid that I rarely ever do now

  • pressing my fingers into my eyes while they're closed so when i open them i can see the colors
  • staring into lights so i can see the colors change and the little bright light move 
  • plugging my ears and making Zzzzzz sounds or humming
  • banging my head against the wall
  • hitting myself in the head to get the buzzing out

I dont know if its autism related, but i like to speak in a childish voice.

Well I'm done rambling. good night world
 I'm going to seek diagnosis soon wish me luck














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